Well, it’s been 9 months now since I found my joy and time for me to share more of my journey.
Since then I have discovered my self-worth, re-set my boundaries and doubled down on meditation, journaling, exercise, and gratitude as a means to a better me. But more significantly I have re-connected with my spiritual dimension.
I have established a toxic-free home environment, made some new friends and been ruthless in my search for peace of mind.
Relationships, behaviors, thoughts, and emotions that no longer serve my interests have been jettisoned, and the bridges I have burned have provided a light to my path as I move towards better. I have learned a lot about me, the power of choice and the power of changing the lens through which I view my world.
I am a better person, a better parent, and a more effective and productive contributor to the workplace. I have a personal peace about me that has honestly surprised me and I worry less about those things in my life that simply don’t matter.
My life lense continues to be re-set and re-shaped every day. So what have I learned that is different from what I knew back in mid-2018?
1. Body and Mind is only part of the solution:
Without recognizing the spiritual dimension to the world we live in you will only ever be able to live a two-dimensional life. The spiritual dimension is going to mean different things to different people, but let me explain what it meant to me.
For me, it started with creating a toxic-free home environment. This was a key enabler for me. Once this was done it was as simple as making me “available” to the universe via meditation, journaling, and exercise. Recognizing when the universe was speaking to me and responding to that with gratitude.
For me it was remembering that there was more to this world than what I could see, touch, feel or hear and that there was an energy and flow, far greater than me that was worth considering. Not a traditional response to the things of the spirit for someone who grew up in the traditional church but despite that, I also re-connected with a city Anglican church whose Jesus narrative aligned with my view of a relevant, loving and non-judgemental Divinity.
2. Build your Self-worth and deal with Shame:
You can’t build self-worth without dealing with shame because it is shame that tells us that we aren’t good enough.
What my journey taught me was that my need for approval and validation was tied to my feelings of shame and low self-worth. And that fixing this required vulnerability, authenticity and the acceptance of myself for who, what and why I am.
I also learned that the thing that has kept me strong was the self-awareness of whether my behaviors continued to stay aligned with my new core belief that I am Enough.
3. Become more self-aware as a pathway to Better and Stronger:
I started to ask myself why I reacted and responded in the way I did as a means of better self-awareness. Why did that comment make me feel hurt, pain, sadness and what was behind those feelings?
Asking yourself “what is behind that” is a great question to ask about yourself and other people. It will give you tremendous insight into yourself and those people around you.
4. Deal with your shit:
All of us carry around with us suppressed emotions; be that pain, trauma, unforgiveness, anger, hurt or abandonment. We all have our shit, and the sooner you say what that shit is out loud, the sooner you can stop letting it control you.
Dealing with your shit is very closely tied to shame, and the thing with shame is the sooner you get it out into the open the less hold and influence it has on you.
Shame can’t operate in the open because it simply ceases to exist in the open. So speak your shame out loud - to yourself and then to a friend. You will be astounded the hold it stops having on you once you do this.
5. If you want to change the way you feel you need to change the way you think:
This is tied in with the changing the lens through which you view your world concept, but the science of neuroplasticity tells us that we can re-train the brain to think and respond differently to how we may have been previously programmed.
Because that is what our sub-conscious is - how we have been programmed to respond to our inner and outer world.
I used to be completely controlled by my emotions and thoughts, but I am learning that you can have more control over your thoughts and emotions than I previously thought; you just need to re-train your brain to respond differently.
And to finish my journey thus far, I wanted to quote the closing monologue from the Heal documentary on Netflix by the amazing @kellygores.
“As we go beyond the physical and improve our inner environment; our thoughts, beliefs and emotions, we can shift our lives and health in powerful ways. And it’s all about faith.
Whether it’s faith in God, faith in medicine, faith in our bodies ability to heal or a combination of all three - if we believe it we can achieve it.
We live in a world of infinite possibility. Choose and focus on the possibility you want. Don’t get sucked into the fear you don’t want”.
I hope you are enjoying my travels. There is something in them for all of us.
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